Remember Larry King’s USA Today columns? Here’s mine.

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I apologize my friends for not giving you words of brilliance for a few days. I’m working on a book about Gene Mauch, the old baseball manager and that’s been taking most of my time. But I did want you to know that I’m still alive, reasonably coherent and only slightly motivated. I figure the answer to this dilemma is to write a Larry King column. What’s a Larry King column? Well, years ago, when he worked with us on Orioles’ telecasts, he was also writing a daily USA Today column, for I’m sure, big bucks. Either that or trade out at Duke Ziebert’s.  A Larry King column says basically nothing with a lot of name dropping. Here goes:

Jameis Winston is an idiot. Crab legs, autographs, women. The Royals are fun to watch. Young, talented. I can’t believe it’s been 30 years since Dick Howser managed the ’85 Royals. He was one of the nicest men I’ve ever met. Am I old if I saw George Brett play little league baseball with my cousin in El Segundo, CA.? I live in San Diego. How the hell did we let Bruce Bochy go? Do managers get caught up in this pitcher’s role playing deal? Yes. Why not stay with Wainwright after seven? You never know what you’re going to get from a new guy.

I’m sure a lot of NBA media types are pissed that LeBron ditched Miami for Cleveland. Let’s see-South Beach or the Mistake by the Lake? I like the Chargers. I think Mike McCoy is a great coach, Phillip Rivers is an MVP and these boys might win it all, If not, I’ll go to Rubio’s for a fish taco. If you’re going to Costco, don’t go in the morning. It’s less crowded but they don’t put out the samples until the afternoon. What the hell is a CAPTCHA?  These are my words to live by. Bless you all.

Mel

 

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